I miss writing...

It's been a while since I've posted. I've been a little scarce on Facebook as well. A LOT going on. Nothing to do with my book or short stories--I won't bore you with the details of me working on our move. BUT, it's kind of the point of the post.

This process of moving has taken up so much of my time and energy...I've had nothing left over to put into writing. I miss it! I find myself picking up a book at the end of the day, and soon I feel a flutter at the back of my brain. Bubbles of thought beginning to rise to the surface. Bubbles I normally let pop, releasing the ideas so I can rush to the computer and record them. But lately, I've been flat-out too tired. And too preoccupied. If I let those little bubbles burst, the ideas get jumbled up with house searches and such, lost amid the clutter, tangled like Christmas lights (it's ok, you can grimace at that one :).

I'm looking forward to when this exhausting period is over. I can't wait to find a new place and get settled in, so I can let the creative juices flow freely again!

My Interview at LGG

The Lost Genre Guild is a group for writers whose main genre is speculative fiction that holds a Christian world view. I joined recently, after getting some short stories published. I'm really excited about being a part of the group.

Their blog has been featuring members lately, and guess what? Today, they posted MY interview :).

So check it out at THE LOST GENRE GUILD.

Christmas memory

I've thought many times about writing out a particular Christmas experience of mine and submitting it to an anthology or someplace that takes Christmas stories. But for some reason I just can't bring myself to do so. I've never had any problem writing out personal experience stories--as a matter of fact, I've made almost all of my writing money doing so. And I'm fine with sharing pretty private stuff. Mainly because I've been down some dark paths, and I know how scary it can be. I want people to know they are not alone--to know I've been there and am glad to help them through, too.

In October of 2004, I was diagnosed with cancer. I've mentioned it before on my blog, but I try not to write about it often because it's not a very happy subject. But every now and then I need to say something about it because I hit a milestone (for example, the end of January will be five years cancer-free!), or something in my life brings up memories of that time.

Christmas is one of those things. You're probably thinking that sounds kind of awful--Christmas making me relive my cancer struggle. But really, it's not awful at all. It's quite beautiful.

You see, Christmas has been an up and down time for me. I loved it as a kid (of course). Then, for a while during my teen years I was a bit of a scrooge--probably because my parents divorced while I was in high school and I hated how the holidays had to be split between them. But somewhere in my twenties I caught the Christmas bug again. Since then it has been my favorite holiday. I was very much afraid that would change when I went through my cancer treatment because it happened to fall smack across the month of December.

My cancer treatment was no fun to say the least. The docs were very aggressive because I was young and in an early stage. The chemo didn't make my hair fall out, but it made me sick as a dog. The radiation zapped all my energy. At five-foot-nine I actually felt puny. Weight-loss and exhaustion left me weak and barely able to walk across the house. When the Christmas lights went up around my neighborhood, I knew there was no way I'd be able to make our traditional family walks at night. I couldn't even ride in the car because of the motion sickness.

But my dear husband did not let me get down about it. He remembered his parents still had a wheelchair that had belonged to his grandfather and asked them to bring it over. Night after night, he loaded me into that thing, covered me in thick blankets, and pushed me out the front door. My daughter, who was two at the time, curled up in my lap, snuggled under the blankets with me. My son was bigger and we couldn't all fit, but he held my hand or helped his daddy push. And just like that, wrapped in the love of my husband and two kids, I rode around my neighborhood.

The lights were more amazing than they had every been before--than any lights had ever been before! Despite all I was going through, that was the best Christmas of my life. Nothing has matched that feeling since.

Maybe that is why I haven't been able to write it out as a "story." The feeling is so embedded in that memory, I'm afraid picking it apart and trying to make it into something submittable would break it. So, I'm going to keep it whole, and I offer you a glimpse with this post, but that's all you'll ever have. I hope that is enough.

More on my website

Well, I'm in limbo right now. Cancelled my domain name, to avoid being charged the price hike--I saw no way of just letting it expire without automatically being billed for the next year. The problem is there is now a lag--the name hasn't officially been released, and because I cancelled it before transferring it, I can't access it from either side. Yes, you techno-heads, I did get one notice providing me the access code, but I ignored it because at that time I was just going to scrap things and start over, and now it's out of my reach for good. Live and learn.

The good new is, I should be able to wait a bit and when my domain name becomes available, I can snatch it back up. I would think so, anyway. I'm sure going to try!

For now, you can just access my website by clicking on the "eye" up in the right-hand corner of my blog. The url is gobbledy-gook, but oh well. I just hope I have it changed back soon.

The biggest frustration is that I'm going through all of this for a book that hasn't even found a home yet, much less been published. But I'm acting on faith that it will someday (maybe soon) be worth all this effort. I just submitted Finding Angel to yet another publisher, and I'm still waiting on a few responses by agents and another publisher. My life is in complete upheaval right now--why not add a publishing contract to the mix ;).

Oh, you may be wondering what's up with the picture of Animal (from the Muppets, in case ya don't know). Nothing. Just love him.

Urgh...

So, today I got an email that my website domain name is going to expire...but of course I can renew it for 3 1/2 times what I paid the first year! Combine that with the fact that I'm going to lose my webspace when I move because it's tied to my internet service, and it leads to my command decision to scrap having a website. In all honesty, pretty much everything you can find there, you can find here on my blog. I just have to figure out why the link to my first chapter is no longer working. I also need to make a new page somewhere that will contain ALL the links to my short stories and a listing of my print personal essays.

Hopefully, I'll get it all figured out soon.

Ah, technology :P.

Two hours later...

OK, so husband told me I'm over-reacting (again :P) and not to scrap the website. So, we'll see. It doesn't expire for a couple of weeks, so maybe I'll set something new up. The point is, he said if an agent was looking for my site, and saw it was gone, then he/she might think I gave up. Ow--talk about hitting it! I can't have that! So, for now, it's still there, and I'm going to try and see what I can do to get it transferred over to another host.

Again...ah, technology...

Encouragements

I don't have much time right now, nor much energy. Working on our house to get it "show" ready has taken over my life. It looks like things may slow down a bit soon, though.

But amidst this chaos, I've received two bits of encouragement that have really meant a lot to me. One came as a phone call from a friend in my critique group. She wanted to make a suggestion for another agent for me to try, and to let me know she believes in me and is praying for me one day every week. As someone who has gone through some seriously hard times, I fully understand the power of prayer. So when someone tells me they are praying for me and my book, I take that very seriously.

Also, another friend from that same group is in the middle of reading Finding Angel and she wrote this comment on my Facebook wall: "This HAS to get published! I've been transported to a magical island and I don't want to come back. It is sooooo good!"

Those are the words I want to hear from my readers--that they feel submerged in the world created in my books and don't want to leave. It's the feeling I get when I read my favorites, and the desire to create that feeling in someone else was my whole motivation to write fiction in the first place!

So, thank you, Jan and Janet, for the words of encouragement. And to all of you who have told me you're praying for me, and/or sent me great comments on my first chapter or short stories. I'm working SO hard to make this dream come true--to get my novel in print--but it's been a long and trying road so far. Without the words of encouragement I get from my fellow writers and my readers, I doubt I would be persevering like this.

Hangin' in there...

Checking in

I normally don't go so long without posting. And I try to at least have a topic when I do, but this time it's a little different. I've been consumed lately with packing boxes because...I'm moving! This is a first for me. I mean, of course I've moved before, but it was always local and this time I'm moving out of state. Plus, we're selling our house, and since it's the first one we've owned I'm getting to experience the whole process of putting a house on the market for the first time, too.

Well, I suppose I can relate this to writing in a way. Moving has brought up concerns I never thought I'd have to deal with. Changing my contact information and getting that to all the places I've submitted has been a big chore. I cannot stress enough the importance of being organized when it comes to submissions! Imagine what would happen if someone actually wanted to use one of my stories...but I hadn't kept track and never sent them my new info!

I'm also going to have to change my website. The web space I've been using is tied to my current internet account, which will be changing when we move. Now, I have to find another web host (or maybe my new internet service will come with web space). The point is, if you'd told me two years ago that I'd be worrying about my website, I'd have laughed at you!

Another thing I'm discovering is that at a time like this I just have to let go of my writing for a bit. It's frustrating, but with so much to do, writing has had to be pushed to the back burner. Boy, it's hard!

Also, right now, I'm mourning the fact that all my precious books are in boxes in my son's closet :(. Yep, in the house-sellin' business books equal "clutter." Heart-breaking!

One of my top priorities for a new house--lots of space for bookshelves. Or even better yet, built-in bookshelves. My dream has always been to have a house with a library, and now that I'm writing, I want a writing desk in that room. Ever seen the movie "Funny Farm"--the one where Chevy Chase moves to the country to write the great American novel? I want an old house like that, with an upstairs writing room and a window overlooking something other than the palm tree in my front yard! I could do without the bodies buried in the garden, though :).

Anyway, I'll try to keep my head about me in all this and still post now and then, with something intelligent to say :). So, be patient with me please.