Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Ranting Review

I bet you think this is going to be a book review. Yeah, I know, there's that neat little picture of the cover of Witch and Wizard by James Patterson over there to the right. But no, this isn't a review...not exactly...more like a rant.

I started reading this book because the cover looked kinda cool. And the title jumped out at me. I love books with magic, so, well, 2 + 2, right? The back cover blurb really grabbed me, too. And James Patterson--while I haven't actually read anything of his before, he's a majorly best-selling author.

This, however, was beyond a disappointment. This was the kind of thing that makes me want to SCREAM.

NO characterization.

HOKEY dialog.


FIND me ONE sentence in the book with less than three adverbs...

Now, I'd heard that James Patterson hires co-writers so he can get more books out there. But it seems to me that if he had an ounce of pride he'd at least co-write something that doesn't read like...like...oh, gosh, everything I want to compare it to would end up insulted by the comparison.

I'm so frustrated by this. Remember my post from a few days ago about going nuts over the "rules" of writing? Well, this is a prime example of why so many of us aspiring authors get ticked off when we're told to follow all these rules if we want to get published. Because if we had a platform like J.P. here we could write any old crap and sell millions of copies. No, we are not whining newbies who are jealous of his success. With writing like this, there's nothing to be jealous of!

It's simply a reminder of why I don't read mainstream authors.


Lum said...

It's no good for the blood pressure, is it?

Sometimes you have to stay away from authors that just tick you off. I think we probably all have them....

Kat Heckenbach said...

Yep, I agree. It does me no good to focus on writers like that, but I had to get it out of my system :P. I'll be sticking to stuff I research a bit better next time!

Jeff Chapman said...

So what did you do with the book? I hope you checked the urge to toss (no, hurl) it into the garbage bin. This is something that needs to be recycled. Maybe that recycled paper will be used by a real writer to write a real book. We can hope.

Lum said...

I don't read much fantasy, but I love the Chrestomanci books by Diana Wynne Jones. Have you read them? :-)

Kat Heckenbach said...

No worries--I'm big on recycling. And our library has a room where books can be donated for resale.

Hm, I haven't read those books. Will have to check into them. Thanks!