If I Were....

I saw this on my dear friend's blog, The Ranunculus Turtle, and just had to steal it. Visit her list (the link in the last sentence will take you right there), then come back and read my version:

If I were a month, I’d be December.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Monday.
If I were a time of day, I'd be Midnight.
If I were a planet, I’d be Pluto.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a Stingray.
If I were a direction, I’d be West.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a Desk Chair.
If I were a liquid, I’d be Red Wine.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be a Ruby.
If I were a tree, I’d be an Oak.
If I were a tool, I’d be Pliers.
If I were a flower, I’d be a White Carnation.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be a Rain Storm.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be an Acoustic Guitar.
If I were a color, I’d be Dark Red.
If I were an emotion, I’d be Somber.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a Kiwi.
If I were a sound, I’d be Pages Turning.
If I were an element, I’d be Silver.
If I were a car, I’d be a 1935 Rolls Royce Phantom II.
If I were a food, I’d be Mexican.
If I were a place, I’d be a Forest.
If I were a material, I’d be Organic Cotton.
If I were a taste, I’d be Spicy.
If I were a scent, I’d be Cinnamon.
If I were an object, I’d be a Drawing Pencil.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a Scowl.
If I were a song, I’d be “The Boxer.”
If I were a pair of shoes, I would be Black Combat Boots.

(PS--I left out "If I were a body part" on purpose. Cos, well, ick. Guess that says something about me, too, eh?)